Oh Lordey. News of your upcoming gig in Tel Aviv (aka participation in the propaganda machine of Israel) is breaking my achy breaky heart. There are hundreds of reason not to go, 400 very good ones, and plenty of places to play right here in New Zealand. Here are my top 5.

1. Reefton, New Zealand
There are a total of 0 children arrested in Reefton every day! Every.dam.day. Those under 12s are walkin' free without torture and interrogation. They’re walking down the street and BAM, they arrive safely at their destination.  

2. Hawera, New Zealand
Hawerians can move freely across their country and go about their lives without racist and violent military checkpoints. Children can walk to school without daily threats of abuse and their parents often get to their places of employment without hours of unjustified delays and checks. Too easy Hawera! 

3. Bulls, New Zealand
The Bulls area of Rangitikei has clean drinking water, a steady and reliable power supply and allows its residents and land owners access to natural resources such as land, and more specifically, food produced from that land. No bull. 

4. Kaiapoi, New Zealand
The small settlement of Kaiapoi grants their local businesses the supply of goods. Many of these goods are essential to daily life and survival. Not only can residents buy things like chocolate and cooking supplies right there in the supermarket, they can also purchase inexpensive but life saving medication. Kaiapoi is ka pai. 

5. My friend Paul’s back yard
Paul is an all right dude. I wouldn't call him a close mate exactly,  but he’s never poisoned the water supply of his neighbours. He’s also never bulldozed his neighbours house in the middle of the night while they were asleep inside it. Yeah nah, like I said, he’s just okay. 

Some cold hard fax



ugly girls club birthday

Being a modern women and all that jazz, I would like to propose that we start giving birthday gifts to ourselves. No, I'm not talking about that girls weekend to Amsterdam, but you do you baby girl. I'm talking more like ideas on how we can love the world during our next year in it.

So I made myself a quick outline on how to close the gap between my actual self and my ideal self. Even though self-actualised 24 year olds are annoying as hell, I'm still game. Here goes...   

1. Continued sobriety AKA I went so far punk that I had to come back.

2. Raise my romantic expectations to exclude unrequited love and include only someone who is equal to or more special than me (if that exists).

3. Post less selfies OR become more okay with the amount of selfies that I post.

4. Post more letters to my grandma.

5. Stop eating (delicious) meat in order to save the planet.

6. Don’t buy stuff that was probably made by the hands of a young women for a slave wage. Including fast fashion and cheap & cheerful trinkets. RIP ebay and poundland, viva la intersectional feminism.